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A Women's Ultimate Career

Article first published as A Women’s Ultimate Career on Technorati.

Have you; as women, beenasked: “What do you do?”
This is a loaded question for many women as homemaking is no longer the “popular” or proper place for a woman in our society. When a woman is asked “what do you do?” and she responds with “I’m a Mom” or “I’m a Homemaker,” she is usually met with a condescending “That’s it?” or a ridiculed “Oh, so you don’t work?” or a belittling “Oh, you are just being lazy, why don’t you get a real job and actually help your husband out?”

Instead homemaker has become only something a “lazy” person does when they don’t want to fulfill a career. But have you ever wondered what a Homemaker does in a given day/week? A Homemaker fills her days with Cooking, cleaning, budgeting, laundry, sewing, decorating, educating herself to better her homemaking skills, gardening, Preserving food such as canning, dehydrating and more. Not to mention also caring for the children. Not just cleaning them and feeding them, but also nurturing the children, teaching them and loving them. A homemaker’s duties fill an entire day and never end. There are always meals to fix, a house to clean, children to tend, laundry to mend, and all on top of being a WIFE to the man who is providing for her and the children. There are no sick days, no paid vacation, and no designated “me” time. There is no 9-5 shift with a lunch break. A homemaker works 24/7 for her family.
Somehow; the recognition and honor that used to accompany being a Homemaker has been lost. Homemaker is no longer evenconsidered an appropriate Career. When did being a homemaker/Mother change fromsomething every Woman did; to now it is something only “Lazy” people do? Andyet in our society now not only do Homemaking Mothers fulfill and accomplishall the tasks from the past; but also include an IN HOME job; a small businessof the likes that they run in addition to everything other aspect of the home!And yet; unless the “business” is successful they are still considered lessthan.

Why can a Woman not be praisedfor choosing to be a Mother and homemaker? Is this not what Women were born todo? Were Women not meant to be Mothers? If it were not so; why then are womenthe only ones that can bear children? Why then are women’s mental functionsgeared more towards Nurturing and loving than the husband’s if this is not whata woman is meant to do? Why is being a Homemaker no longer considered enough?And why must a woman “not be meeting her potential” if that is whatshe CHOOSES to do? If she is truly happy with her calling as a Homemaker; whymust she be made to feel bad about it, or treated as though she is “wasting herpotential”?

Former New York TimesReporter and Pulitzer Prize Nominee Ann Crittenden wrote: 

“Any Woman who hasdevoted herself to raising Children has experienced the hollow praise that onlythinly conceals smug dismissal. In a Culture that measures worth andachievement almost solely in terms of money, the intensive work of rearing responsibleadults counts for little. One of the most intriguing questions in economichistory is how this came to be; how mothers came to be excluded from the ranksof productive citizens. How did the demanding job of rearing a modern childcome to be trivialized as baby-sitting? When did caring for children become a ‘laborof love,’ smothered under a blanket of sentimentality that hides its economicimportance?”

In reality; Homemaker is oneof the noblest Careers a women can choose; especially in this day and age. Whenthe entire world is against a woman staying with her children and raising themherself; with love and kindness, She is the one standing Brave in the Face ofadversity. Women must Change the way we think; for ourselves and for otherwomen. First Lady Maria Shriver said on the Oprah Winfrey Show, April 29, 2004“How do we get women, to stop saying ‘I’m JUST a mother’ or ‘I USED to besuch and such, but now I’m JUST a mother?’ we need to market motherhood.”What a concept! Marketing Motherhood! One of the Most natural and beautifulthings needs to be marketed! How far has our society fallen?

Even Oprah Winfrey herselfsaid, “I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become oneof the greatest Spiritual teachers there is. To Create an e
nvironment that’sstimulating and nurturing, to pass on a sense of responsibility to anotherhuman being; to raise a child who understands that he or she is created fromgood and is capable of anything–I know for sure that few callings are morehonorable.”
So why does society as a whole look down on Motherhood andHomemaking with such disdain?

Think for one moment; of aWoman that attains an “admirable” Career; with high pay and great benefits. Sheis successful in this job; yet her family falls apart because she was busy pursuingher career. Her children become nuisances to society due to lack of attentionand love…Is the success truly worth it? Can her success in her careercompensate for her Failure in the home? Is her salary more important than herchild’s wellbeing? No Disrespect meant to those women who do work outside oftheir homes… sometimes there isn’t much choice; but we are pointing out that a woman who CHOOSES to stayin her home and raise her children is not less important than the woman who choosesto leave her children with someone else so she can attain a successful businesscareer. Merely the priorities and Valuesare different; not that one pursuit of goals is better than the other. OurSociety needs to “Market Motherhood” and you can help make the difference.
C.S. Lewis wrote:
“Homemaker is theultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose, and that is tosupport the ultimate career.”

Take a moment to think: Is mycareer supporting the Ultimate Career? A husband who works hard to ensure thathis family has enough income to support their needs (Emphasis on NEEDSnot wants) then he is supporting the Ultimate Career by then allowing his wife tostay home with the children and nurture them and the home. If you are studyingin college, take a moment to think “Will this benefit my future or current familyin any way outside of monetary value?” If you are working outside your home; isit out of necessity or want?

Howdo you view Mothers and Homemakers? Are you passing on judgmental and condescendingviews onto others, including your own children? Or will you help us Change theway we think? When you hear of a woman being a Homemaker and a Mother; Praisethem! Thank them! Let them know it is admirable that they have chosen tonurture their family! No longer allow condescending thoughts “oh you are just being lazy” or the like to pass through your mind or your lips. 

If YOU are a Motherand a Homemaker; when asked what you do; No longer say “I’m just a mom”. But rather say “I am a Mother” or “I ama Homemaker” with PRIDE! What you do isNoble! What you accomplish is wondrous! There are few who are brave enough topursue this Ultimate Career.

My Name is Amber; and I AM A MOTHER and Homemaker, and I’m Proud of it!

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Val Curtis

Monday 17th of October 2011

As someone who went to school, worked, went back to school, worked, then had a child, stayed at home, then worked, had #2 and is now staying at home...phew...whatever works for you and your it! I know some amazing moms who would love to stay home with their babes and they can't and it breaks their heart. Although staying home is not easy or always fulfilling, I thank my lucky stars for each and every day I get to spend watching my littles grow. Being a parent is incredibly difficult regardless of the route your choose and the more support and less judgement we can offer one another, the better! XO


Saturday 15th of October 2011

It might be because I'm older, and may not care as much, but I have never felt anything but pride when I say that I'm a full time mom. My husband has always been 100% behind my decission and has never once doubted the work I do with my kids. I do think that there may be more to my life than being a mom, but I say that after almost 13 years of being home. I do not think that a women has to stay home to be a good mother, I don't want judgement so I do not judge. It has been the right decision for me. Great post, I do believe that we as women have to stop putting down our own choices. Or that fact that we have set up our life to have those choices. Thanks for a great post!

Amber @JadeLouise Designs

Saturday 15th of October 2011

I'm so glad you got a lot of support. I live in a majority religious community that values mothers but even still there is that idea starting to creep in; that you aren't doing "enough" of you are ONLY a mom. Congratulations on BEING a mom! I'm proud of you and Thank you for visiting!

Truth Mama

Saturday 15th of October 2011

I worked for a year before I started to stay home with my daughter. When I told people that I was going to be a stay-at-home mom I got a lot of support and none of the stigma that I thought I would get. I think people knew it was a really hard decision for me to quit my job (always been a career person) and had a lot of respect for the fact that I wanted to do what I thought was best for my kids.

I live in Minnesota, so maybe it's more acceptable here. But I do catch myself saying things like I'm "just" a mom. We need to give ourselves more credit than that!! Found you from the VoiceBoks 'Parenthood' event. Following you on FB now. Thanks!

Amber @JadeLouise Designs

Saturday 15th of October 2011

You are most welcome Pamela! This article was inspired due to an irritation I was having lately; of when I would talk with other WOMEN who had careers; and were surprised that I actually LIKE being a home mom. But Also; a dear friend of mine is in college now; she doesn't really want a career; she wants to BE a mom. She is studying University Studies which gives her the freedom to take a lot of different homemaking type classes in addition to other classes. She gets harassment when people discover what her major is and telling her she needs to study a REAL made me mad; because what right do they have to tell her that being a mom isn't GOOD enough?

But anyway..It is just a subject I feel very passionately about. lol.

If you want a good book to read: "I am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. She was a BIG SHOT in the national news and she gave it all up just so she could be a mom. Very inspiring.

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