Have you ever known somebody who can’t just listen to music? No song in their repertoire can just be about a tune or about a memory. They have to hear and analyze the lyrics so much that it literally ruins the song. They won’t listen to this song because it’s against their principles, or they can’t listen to that song because the lyrics are just stupid? And when you’re in the car together, and your favorite song comes on, and they crap all over it because “Haven’t you ever listened to what this song is about?”
Yeah. I’m one of those, too.
This is the backdrop to this week’s post: 5 Songs that are Subtly Disquieting. Why? Because I’m one of those people, annnnnd, I noticed that there are several songs that I really like that upon listening reminded me of why people hate people who listen to the lyrics.
Top 5 Songs
- Sister Golden Hair, America- What a happy song! At the end they sing Do-Whop, Do-Whop! And that tune is so jaunty and bouncy! Too bad it’s about a guy who just ditched his bride at the alter! Really! He says he”s been faking it for his whole relationship, up until he gets so depressed that he “sets his sights on Monday and got myself undressed.” How can you Do-Whop a guy like this? This is not a Do-Whop song! It’s a “Cry in your beer” song!
- Take it Easy, The Eagles- Now, the Eagles have never been known for uplifting themes in their music, though Take it Easy seems to be the exception. After all, he’s just standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona with seven women on his mind. This isn’t anything to gawk at, because at any given time, I’m thinking about sex just as often as the main character in the song. It’s a guy thing. But then you start listening to the lyrics. These aren’t fictitious women. They are all relationships that he’s had. “Four that want to own me, two that want to stone me, one says she’s a friend of mine.” Kind of sounds like he’s got a relationship complex. Then the next verse comes in, “It’s a girl, my Lord, in a flat bed Ford slowin’ down to take a look at me.” Seriously? He’s already got a problem with not two or three exes, but seven women, and he’s looking at getting into another relationship? This guy’s got a problem! A BAD problem. This is a womanizing, desperate cry for help, stick-this-guy-in-therapy kind of problem! Women-I know that bad boys are a big draw, but this guy is trouble! Then, in the final line he says “Lookin’ for a lover who won’t blow my cover…” What? Is he breaking parole now??? I like this song, don’t get me wrong, but stay away from this man! He’s trouble! I’m starting to have a new respect from the seventh woman earlier on who considers him a “friend,” preferably without benefits. She seems to be the only one in this story with a level head on her shoulders.
- We Are Young, Janelle Young- Despite the premise of this whole song is about getting so blotto that you have to be carried home, the opening lines have always made me wonder “Why is she still with this jerk?” His friends are in the bathroom “…getting higher than the Empire State.” So his choice in friends is already in question, then he sees his girlfriend across the bar who is saving a seat for him and she is getting hit on by some “sunglasses.” That’s not a big problem. That’s one of the social dangers of going to a bar, I suppose. Although the only people who wear sunglasses inside are blind people and douche bags (Thank you, Supernatural). But then he starts talking about a scar the main character gave his girlfriend a few months ago. Why is she still with him? Ladies, if your man gives you a scar by any means other than by accident, get away from him. I realize this goes back to the bad boy syndrome, but seriously, if you have to draw the line somewhere, I suggest scar tissue is probably three steps beyond when you should have dumped him.
- Black Cow, Steely Dan- Don’t get me wrong, I love Steely Dan. They are one of my favorite bands of all time. Making heads or tales out of their songs, however, is like trying to untie the knot in a yo-yo stuck in a blender. This song, however, is the opposite side of the bad boy syndrome, where a guy wants to drop that bad girlfriend but just can’t. The back-up singers even point out that he can’t “… cry anymore while you run around.” And he even notices that by her phone she’s got a “…book of numbers and your remedies” pointing out that she’s bad news. Then he states that “I’m the one who can make everything right. Talk it out ’till midnight.” Sigh. The one consolation is that at least they are drowning out their sorrows with a Black Cow (or a Root Beer Float). Possibly the most healthy remedy I’ve heard in the music world is to fix it with ice cream and root beer.
- Ventura Highway, America- The second by America, but for another reason. The majority of America songs make about as much sense as an udder on a bull. What bothers me about it isn’t that there is no such thing as Ventura Highway (There is a Ventura, California, but it’s a city, not a highway), nor the fact that the lyrics point out being hit by purple rain, seasons crying no despair, or even alligator lizards in the air. It’s the fact that the entire band was so freaking high that they wrote song after song that made no sense at all, all of them were OK with it, and they still sound better than I do. And make more money. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.
What’s your favorite disquieting song?
What is the one thing you have heard that all of your friends roll their eyes about?