Finding Beauty Within ourselves
We are taught that if we are confident then we are prideful. And pride cometh before the fall right? But pride and confidence are two very different things. And we are not taught enough to know the difference. We think to be humble we have to berate ourselves and see ourselves as worthless. And that is not true! That is not God’s plan. We are amazing and we need to see ourselves as such. Especially for our children. It is our Parenting duty!
Our kids look to us as guides in this world. If we don’t model our own self confidence, where will they learn it?
And we all know how wrong the media has it, am I right? What makes a model who is more photo-shopped than natural the ideal that we should model after? It’s just not attainable. But the media says that is what we have to look like in order to be beautiful.
This is especially crucial if you have a daughter. Your daughter will look to you for guidance. Even if she doesn’t use words. She is watching you. If mom is ashamed of herself and her body, your daughter will pick that up.
If mom is always concerned with dieting and reaching for an unattainable perfection. She will pick that up.
But if Mom is confident in herself, stretchmarks, a little belly bulge and all. She will learn that it’s beautiful to be natural.
The difference between Confidence and pride is comparison. Confidence is seeing yourself as God sees you. As a soul with immense potential and worth.
Pride is seeing yourself in relationship to someone else. “I”m not as pretty as so and so” or “I’m better looking than ___”
See what I did there? Pride isn’t just thinking you are better than someone. It is also thinking someone else is better than you. Doesn’t sound quite right, but it is. It is all in the comparison.
We need to break the mold and stop comparing ourselves to others. And just see ourselves as who we are. I am beautiful. I am talented. You are beautiful. You are talented. We don’t have to be the same. We don’t have to compare. I can be good at arts and crafts and you can be good at sewing. That doesn’t make one person better or more beautiful than the other.
I can have well shaped eyes and lips that any model would kill for. You can have the most amazing figure. We are both still beautiful.
The best thing we can do for our children. Boys and girls alike is to find the best part of ourselves and exude our confidence in that. Teach by example that we don’t have to be “perfect” like the media wants us to believe. We can be ourselves. And love ourselves. And have confidence. And they can be beautiful and have confidence in themselves as well.
I read the most beautiful piece from Midlife at the oasis about her epic parenting fail. It talks about finding your most beautiful body part. Really it’s quite thought provoking. You need to read it.
But I agree. We need to list our most loved features. About our body and about our personalities. Let our kids know this. Show it in our words, actions and every day living.
This is how we teach our kids to have confidence. This is good parenting.
What is your most admired feature about yourself?
How do you instill confidence in your child?